It's taking shape

It's morphed again....I just wasn't getting my groove on with the quilt. I was feeling really pressured to make a BEAUTIFUL quilt...I want it to be very special and I think I was trying too hard, getting all het up about it.  So I did some deep breathing, grounded myself, drank a cup of reviving tea and sat and reviewed the blocks I'd made and took stock of the situation :)  Finally clarity and direction.  I would revert to blue and white - my original colour palette, drop all the green and pink and yellow....pattern wise stick with my version of  a half-log cabin as I'm loving the pattern and it represents crop lines. I can still link it the farm, the woods and fields, a boy and a girl, some animals, the domesticity of life together - cups of tea.... I've decided to use about 5 or 6 hero fabrics and base blocks around them. I've use Liberty Birdsong, Elevenses and the Scandinavian farm - can't remember the name of that one for the life of me.... so far with another couple to come...here's a progress pic....

I've now done quite a bit more but you can see the jist of it above and now I"am totally feeling the love, the mojo is on and it is all systems a go-go.

I had a lovely weekend, mainly due to lots of time sewing, me thinks, with sprinkles of cooking and baking and an evening of musical theatre seeing Jersey Boys LOVED it! 

Upon reflection of my weekend,,,,I realise I'm so much more content when I am creating something.  Having a purpose (ie deadline) to making the quilt has given me full permission to totally immerse myself in its construction.  Which makes me wonder whether I'm not giving myself "permission" to craft away when I'm merely doing it for pleasure.  (Don't get me wrong this purpose is totally pleasurable).  I'm just wondering if my underlying psyche is that expressing myself creatively and indulging myself in pleasurable art forms is a very selfish act and I shouldn't spend my time so?  I must work, work, work...keep housekeeping up-to-date...see that there is food for everyone, run the household, and deny myself other facets of my life that make my heart truly sing. Again, I don't want to sound as though I  begrudge all that I do...I don't.... it's life and bits bring me joy...clean washing...Am I weird?  But is there an element of self sabotage at play here or some deep seated Presbyterian/fundamental religious ideology?  Fun is not right...seriousness abounds.  Only when the jobs are done can we allow ourselves to relax.  Sounds crazy as I write these words...that I think I need to give myself permission to enjoy myself????  OMG am I sounding like a  martyr!! Maybe I just operate better with a sense of purpose?  Apologies for the stream of conscious mad ramblings!
See what creative play time brings out in me!  :)